I can’t stand waiting.

I sent in my applications early

Just so I didn’t have to wait as long.

I get places early, just so I don’t have to wait

In lines for tickets or concessions,

And yet I crave things to start early

Just so I don’t have to wait.

“You’re so patient, waiting for that book,”

My librarian tells me, handing me the back-ordered copy.

She doesn’t know the way I check Powerschool

Five times a day, seven on weekends,

Maybe fifty on exam days,

My mind only focused on the seconds following the timestamp

I turned my assignment in at.

“You’re so patient with that kid. You should be a teacher,”

My teacher remarks, a proud smile on her face.

I don’t tell her how many times I wanted to snatch up the pencil

Right out of his hand, scribble down the right answers,

Just so the task is done.

I can’t stand this side of myself.

It’s wrong, it’s flawed, it’s bad,

And I don’t want to be bad,

But I can’t deny the truth of it,

That I am not good,

And I am certainly not patient.